16 November 2005

UPS Tracking Number

I'm waiting for the UPS guy to deliver the parts for my long-awaited, brand-new computer, purchased from the widely-respected Internet vendor Newegg.

My eight-year-old son is practically beside himself with eagerness to help me build it.

So (with apologies to Roger Waters), here's my version of "Dark Side of the Moon/Brain Damage":

Computer bits are on the truck....
Computer bits are on the truck.
Disks, RAM, and fans
And CPUs , with luck
Got to lug the mobo off the truck.

And if the box breaks open many miles too soon
And if there is no way to find the parts
And if the driver punts them, maddened, off the back
I'll see you back on Newegg really soon

Computer bits are in my hall...
The scattered bits are in my hall.
The cats whack the shredded packaging, enthralled
And both my kids delight in losing more

And if the static crackles in your ears
You shout but no child seems to hear
And if the box you build thinks it's a Commodore
I'll see you back on Newegg really soon.

The box you built refused to boot
Your new computer just won't boot
Reseat the chip, you break the frame
You bend the pins until they're lame
You stuff the slots, and pitch away the RAM
Although it don't look done, I think I am

And if the beep codes thunder in your ears
Eight hundred dollars shot, you fear
And if you kick the whole works halfway to the moon
I'll see you back on Newegg really soon.

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